Giving back - Geoff Taylor's story

“The only advantage of losing a child is you stop worrying about them”, Geoff Taylor, loving father of Jesse Taylor – 1 February 1977 to 25 June 2023.

Geoff’s son, Jesse, was just nine years’ old when his Mum left.  It was then that Geoff realised his relationship with Jesse would change significantly, and for the better, as Geoff became fully involved in all aspects of Jesse’s life.

Owner of Geoff Taylor Jewellers, Geoff was able to juggle his working life with solo parenting and he talks with pride about watching Jesse grow into a young man and develop a love of art, in particular, their shared love of making jewellery.

When Jesse was 25, and after he had finished a design degree at Massey University, he headed to Japan to learn more about his craft.  He attended a jewellery design school and funded this passion by teaching English and acting as a marriage celebrant, learning the language so he could officiate a blend of European and traditional Japanese ceremonies. 

Jesse returned to New Zealand with his five-year-old son, Louis, focussed on his own son having the opportunity to experience life in New Zealand, and get to know his New Zealand family.  Jesse re-joined Geoff’s goldsmith business, and the two men enjoyed working side by side for the next twelve years as Jesse continued to develop his own jewellery brand.  Geoff also talked about the incredible happiness Jesse’s new wife, Teresa, brought to the lives of the whole family.

Geoff clearly remembers the day when Jesse, just 46 years old, was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  Jesse had been complaining of a pain in his side, but the diagnosis was a total shock.  Jesse was given just eight weeks to live and, because the Hospital was unable to manage his pain, Jesse was referred to Hospice Waikato and spent the next two weeks in hospice’s In-patient Unit in Hamilton.

“The team at Hospice Waikato were absolutely incredible”, said Geoff.  “Teresa was able to stay with Jesse the whole time, sleeping in his room and just being with him every moment of their last precious weeks together.”

“Jesse’s wish was to die at home and the team at Hospice Waikato made that wish possible.  He was able to transfer home in late May and died almost exactly a month later.  His Hospice nurse visited him at home every day to administer the cocktail of drugs which kept him as comfortable as possible, and best friend, Aaron Williams, helped Jesse where he could.  Another very good mate, Warrick Webber, gave himself fully to support the whole family day by day.  Jesse was able to be surrounded by his family.”  

Jesse and Teresa were so appreciative of the love, care and kindness shown to them by their hospice carers that, before he died, he and Teresa made a donation to Hospice Waikato.  Geoff remembers having the same desire to give back to the organisation that had provided such wonderful care for his son.  “I retired not long after Jesse died and I feel very strongly that I have a role to play in giving back to Hospice, as my way of thanking them for what they did for Jesse.”  

Geoff joined the team of volunteers who offer drinks to patients in the In-patient Unit and talks about how much of a privilege it is to be able to support families at this challenging time.  “It’s important to read the room and to take a moment to take stock of where things are at for the patient and their family.”  And when he leaves the room, he always says, ‘I’ll see you next week’.  “I imagine it gives the family a little hope, and hope is so important” says Geoff.

Geoff is looking forward to providing more volunteer help to Hospice Waikato.  He writes, he sculpts, he loves a good yarn.  He feels there are many volunteer roles at Hospice Waikato where he could make a difference.

Geoff is very clear about what works for him as he works through his grief.  “I write to Jesse a lot.  Sometimes poems, sometimes letters.  When I feel grief, I let it flow through the words on the paper.  It is a wonderful way for me to express and move past those feelings.”

Geoff also credits his wife, Conny, for helping him through the loss of his son, and helping Louis through the loss of his father.

A studier of philosophy, Geoff is a strong believer that whilst Jesse’s human form has died, his soul carries on.   As he says, in part of one of the poem’s he wrote to his son …

Now you’ve gone, I feel you near
Knowing you will always be with me here

When Geoff visited us, to share his story, he brought a beautiful photo book of his son.  He mentioned, almost in passing, that it was the first time he'd looked at the book since Jesse died.  And he said "The only advantage of losing a child, is you stop worrying about them".